How to Pull at a Wedding

When it comes to flirting I feel a bit sorry for many men: so many get it wrong and most women in general don’t make it easy for you. I should know, I am one and as a woman who has seen so many of her male friends crash and burn spectacularly whilst trying to win over a lady - I think I’m pretty well equipped to tell you the best way to pull women at a wedding. After all, I have pulled and been pulled at a wedding before. Still not convinced? Well I’ve also wing womaned a male mate of mine to reception shagging success once (references available on request,) and as far as I’m concerned that’s all the convincing you need. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t fail safe advice. So if you fail then chances are it’s your own fault. However, if that’s a chance you’re willing to take then read on. Because I’m going to betray my own camp here and give tips on how best to infiltrate the *ahem*, enemy base (as it were…).

Decide beforehand, are you there to get smashed or shag?

This seems like a silly thing to actively decide, but before you start constructing your plan of attack you need to decide what your actual objective is. If you want to get blind drunk at the wedding then stop reading this and go forth and frolic on with your life. Because this isn’t some light toilet reading for the half-hearted womaniser, no, this is an insider action plan for the dedicated dame pulling wedding guest.  So decide before the main event starts: drinking copious amounts will hinder your chances and you’ll be that drunk guy who everyone avoids. You know the one who ends up alone or worse hooking up with an absolute car crash of a woman. Don’t be that guy. Nobody likes that guy.

Get involved with the wedding

Offer to help out with something wedding related, whether that’s taking an old lady to the buffet table, helping with seating arrangements, driving to get something… It doesn’t have to be anything major: the point is you help (or at the very least offer to help) so that you look like a kind and approachable human being - all massively attractive traits that women love. Believe me, helping out will increase your chances of pulling. Just make sure you don’t offer to help with something that would mean being away from the party for extended periods of time.

Go solo and be selective

There’s a horrible misconception that all bridesmaids are sad, drunk and they’re willing to sleep with almost anyone at the wedding. Not all of them are and not all of them will. This is a lie that Hollywood movies seem determined to maintain but it’s not true – sorry to shatter the illusion. So before layering on the charm, assess the situation carefully.  Bridesmaids can be a minefield – so pursue with caution. My advice for a target? Go for a wedding guest. See who is sitting alone, with a bunch of girls, or with old people and make a mental note of which “side” they are on. After all, there’s a conversation starter for later on right there (“So how do you know the groom/bride?”)

Make yourself known but don’t be a creeper

If you’ve helped with the wedding then you’ve already covered some of this: many people will know you have helped. However if you haven’t helped, then make sure you introduce yourself to as many people as possible at the reception. Luckily for you, most people are feeling social and merry at weddings, and it’s perfectly acceptable to approach people you don’t know for a chat. So by default, you’re off to a good start! In other words, definitely and confidently introduce yourself to your target as soon as you get the chance. Ask how they know the bride/groom; compliment the ceremony (always a good one) and generally sound friendly and polite. Don’t stick to her or stalk her all night. It’s weird.  Have a lovely but light conversation, and then move on. If you got along really well then reconnect with her later on but when you do, always keep it light. Don’t start telling her your bloody life story or how you’ve got this special sex technique that involves your pinky and mayonnaise… Your conversation should be funny, attentive and relaxed – just like you should be.

Keep it fun and touch base with your favourite

A lot of women are on guard during a wedding because they know that single men are on the prowl, ready to take advantage of their vulnerable single state. This is something you are just going to have to accept and hopefully overcome. So don’t be too dejected if your target seems a bit cold at first. Hopefully she’ll warm up and if she doesn’t – move on. It’s a wedding, people flutter about from group to group frequently, so it’s not even embarrassing (trust me on this.) If she does however start to melt, and you find that there’s potential, do what I told you earlier – chat, go away and return. Like a suit wearing boomerang. She’ll appreciate the space, and it’ll stop you looking like you’re in “predator mode.”

Privacy is key

It’s a wedding, a celebration of two people declaring their undying love by signing a bit of paper, spending a lot of money and throwing a party to try and forget about how much money they’ve spent. It’s not a nightclub/bar which is recognised “hunting” ground. So don’t be obscene: people aren’t here for you and people didn’t go there to see you. So if you’ve managed to secure a target and it looks like things are heating up… then you must remove yourself from public viewing. She’ll appreciate the privacy and chances are she won’t really come out of her shell whilst people (read: her friends/people she knows) are hanging around seemingly judging her. Do yourself a favour and remove yourselves from peeping eyes, thus minimising potential humiliating scenarios and taking attention away from the people who actually deserve it – the bride and groom.

Exchange digits

Maybe you’ve had a fumble and a tumble. Maybe you haven’t. The point is, if you like the girl then it would be a waste to part ways without at least giving her your number. I’m not saying she’s going to be your future Mrs or anything but people seem to be very reluctant to keep in contact with their wedding hook ups and I’m not sure why. Fine if you’ve both agreed to never see each other again, but it doesn’t hurt to exchange numbers so you might as well.

Quick fire reminders

•    Don’t get wasted drunk. It’s not attractive, you may not think you don’t look too bad but chances are you do – and probably worse.

•    Chewing gum. Never be without it.

•    Condoms. Never be without these either.

•    Don’t cling onto your target all night. It makes you look creepy and predatory.

•    Do be discreet with your dirty doings. It’s a wedding for Christ’s sake – don’t draw attention to the wrong things, like you shagging a wedding guest.

•    Exchange digits afterwards. It only takes minutes and is always a good idea. After all… you never know.